This week STAR MAG got more respond for the last two weeks discussion... here there are...
LIFESTYLE Sunday August 13,2006
I DO agree with ¡°A Satisfied Husband¡± who wrote Ladies, good sex makes happy marriages (Your Say, StarMag, July 30). What makes those of you who disagree (Try being a wife, More to marriage than just sex, Your Say, StarMag, Aug 6), think his wife is not enjoying herself having good sex with her husband too?
Good sex would be an act of love between husband and wife, with both deriving satisfaction from each other and enjoying it together.
I think what Satisfied Husband is trying to say is that when a couple have good sex they have good feelings for each other which improves their communication; even criticisms are couched in a caring and passionate note.
When a couple feel good about each other, they are loving towards each other. Subsequently, it softens all other problems that regular married couples face. When it is good sex, it is never forced, nor is it the responsibility of the wife only.
It not only keeps the relationship good, it also helps to prevent the husband from straying even when there is great temptation. Would a husband who shares a good and satisfying relationship with his wife want to throw his happy marriage away?
A loving couple will also create a loving environment for their children and the rest of the family as well. The couple will be more thoughtful to each other and will thus refrain from doing things that will upset the other.
For example, the wife will try to maintain a good relationship with her mom-in-law so as not to make things difficult for her husband and her husband may want to cut down on his ¡°networking¡± nights out.
What I¡¯m saying is based on experience but that doesn¡¯t mean my husband and I are highly sexed. We are just a regular married couple of 15 years who have gone through thick and thin together, with our fair share of financial hiccups and quarrels.
But it is also good to tease and flirt with each other and add a large dose of humour in our daily communication. We tease each other by sending naughty text messages; sometimes we whisper in each other¡¯s ear when watching TV; when our hands touch, he will gently and lovingly stroke mine. But that doesn¡¯t mean we end up having sex every time!
One of our kids is very argumentative and is very trying on our nerves. My husband will get all worked up and stressed out. I will ¡°tease¡± him and he will smile. So, yes, it¡¯s stress therapy too.
Good sex is not the only way to a happy marriage but it is one of the priorities that lead to a happy marriage. Couples who are already in their twilight years and no longer have sex but are still loving to each other, must have had ¨C I¡¯m sure ¨C a good sex life with each other.
Sexually satisfied and happily married lady, Penang
SATISFIED husband is indeed spot on (Ladies, good sex makes happy marriages, Your Say, StarMag, July 30) ¨C except he forgot to address the issue to men as well.
Sex is indeed a very important aspect of marriage. However, to solely put the blame on women for not keeping the sex life exciting and alive within a marriage is a very myopic male approach. If statistics are accurate, there are many women who do not really enjoy sex and/or unable to achieve orgasms. Does this mean these women are ¡°sexually defective¡±? Or it is because the men, being selfish, think only of their own needs and neglect to make each encounter fulfilling for their women too?
Sex to a woman is more complex than to a man. A husband who makes his wife feel loved and cherished has half the battle won. A woman feels sexy when she is wanted and desired. Even helping out in the home so both can spend more time together is a great start. A woman does not have push-buttons which automatically transform her from a harassed mom into a vamp in the bedroom.
Having said that, it takes two to tango. The children are important but couples should make time for themselves. Stay fit and attractive for one another, send saucy messages, enlist the help of perfume and lingerie ....
Men can learn new tricks instead of always blaming the wives for being disinterested. A lot of men dream of turning the wife in for a newer, younger model, thinking that¡¯s the solution ¨C often without taking a look in the mirror first.
All of us are sexual beings. If the husband can tap into the latent sexuality of his wife, he need not look far for the woman of his dreams.
Satisfied Couple, Petaling Jaya | 
